statio...stabilize!

pound and pounce on this pavement

walking weather indeed

sleep can come later

the mesquite trees are my friends

the greenways are inviting

out of the traffic

out of the car

but here i am moving

the stillness can come this eve

the quiet in the morning

pound and pounce on this pavement

let the birdsongs pour into my heart



big sky wide sky

and the clouds amble loosely

the rugged mountains surround me

the foothills could be my home

pin the dream up on a wall

write it down on scrap after scrap

'one day at a time'

as the entrance of the Word gives light

my telomeres stabilize....stabilize!



as Benny called it 'statio....statio'

tip toe tiny small goodness

We must give freely and gratefully that which has been freely and gratefully given to us.” -12 step text

kiss the forehead
kiss the eyes
listen for the call and
live surprised.
live in the moment
and pray ahead

swat down future fear....

wait for the touch
of the ruach of God
then sit quiet
a holy hush that can only be given
not conjured.

you feel like you've gone nowhere
...no it's 'now-here'
now go and do a good turn
and don't stop believing...
'small things done with great love can change the world...'


therese of lisieux....the 'little flower'

HEY IKE!

i've only got a few of Ukulele Ike's tunes on my ipod, but my gosh can this guy croon....and what a uke player! 'that's my weakness now' is still one of my favorites, but i found this lovely tune today....

Simple but Welcomed Gifts

Seems to be a season of little welcomed gifts dribbling their way to my door. Just yesterday two packages came:

another cd from my friend lew dite God bless you John...i always welcome your stuff...you are a folk music mentor and friend....

and a great little package of various things came from my friend Luke... God bless you Luke...yer a good man and i'm glad to know you...

My friend Mousie

this is my friend Joanna's(Mousie)entry for my contest. She doesn't know how fitting this song was when i turned up the speakers and gave it a listen. Bless you Mousie....i'm so glad we've met on Youtube...

here's her channel...it's very worth 'subbing.'

'Cast your Cares upon him....for he Cares for you.' -ol' St. Peter

Lil' inexpensive MAKALA for the Win!

i'm a fan of 'mid' to 'lower' priced ukes...especially when they've been properly set up with good action and strings....in fact would you like to see a review of my soprano uke arsenal? (1 flea, 2 harmonies, 1 gold tone, 1 martin s-o, 1 sunlight pineapple, and one makala dolphin uke)

anyway, i got this lil' makala the other week from Musicguymic over in hawaii. i paid just a tad more for the set up and shipping, but man, was it worth it! i love this lil' guy...lovely feel, crisp tone, and and sparkly finish....whooooaaaah!

grab gratitude by the face

'to live gratitued is heaven.' -can't remember?

'give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ.'

'grab the future by the face.' -joe strummer

'force gratitude until it becomes habitual. gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. it is the key that unlocks positive energy in our lives. it is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts.' -melody beattie

i'm not trying to sound 'thick' here...it just 'is what it is' i'm thankful for...

high fiber cereal

beautiful weather today

a nap

a ma and pa

kiddy hugs and smiles

a brisk 40 minute walk

my makala sparkly uke

learning a new song

more canned peaches

copper bracelets

memories of birds

laughing at dumb ass jokes

that picture of the exercise people on my other post

my citrus and sage yankee candle

my recovery books

my little note pads

the sleep i'm gonna get

that i'm loved in a way i can't earn....

thank you, gracias, grazie, danke, and other ways of saying it....

The Sacred, The Profane, and Cosmic Disruptions

'when he came, he shellac-ed this whole place with grace.'

-mitch mcvicker on the nativity

'this cup's for the strong and mighty

this cup's for the weak and poor

this cup's for the not so holy

this cup's for the not so sure.'

-sammy horner

'he's my Mother, he's my Father

my Brother my Sister too

he helps me when i don't know what to do...'

-old Thomas Dorsey song

'dear God, i'm doing the best i can.'

-Frank (a little boy)

'the child of God knows that the graced life calls him or her to live on a cold and windy mountain, not on the flattened plain of reasonable, middle of the road religion....this is the God of the gospel of grace. A God, who out of love for us, sent the only son he ever had wrapped in our skin. He learned how to walk, stumbled and fell, cried for his milk, sweated blood in the night, was lashed with a whip and showered with spit, was fixed to a cross and died whispering forgiveness on us all...'

-brennan manning/the ragamuffin gospel

peace and good from brother sonny!!!

When a Song Becomes Your Own

'folk music is all about recycling.' lew dite

all the lyrics don't have to pertain to you, but there's something about the song that 'speaks to your condition.' it may induce tears, prayer, laughter, anger, past memories, or future hopes....or take you into an awareness of the Present.

i've been listening to a lot of sufjan stevens lately...i'm thinking his "Michigan" album may be one of the best albums of the decade, but that's me...

here are some other tunes that have become my own:

for crooning and balladeering:

burl ives - Wooly Boogy Bee
Ol' Bangum
Three Black Crows

Pete Seeger - Gypsy Davy
The Wagoner's Lad
Oh had i a golden thread

for Humor:

Cliff Edwards (Ukulele Ike) -that's my weakness now

Tiny Tim -Then i'd be satisfied with Life

Carl Sandburg -The Horse named Bill

for Inspiration:
Bruce Cockburn - Let us go Laughing
Spirit Song

Basom Lamar Lunsford - Dry Bones

This is just a smidge, but you get my point...and you?

sufjan stevens -photo taken by joe lencioni -creative commons

This Place

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her." -Hosea 2

"Go, Child of God, upon the singing desert,
Where, with eyes of flame,
The roaming lion keeps thy road from harm."
-Thomas Merton/The Flight into Egypt


Walked for about an hour this morning at this fairly large park about 15 minutes from my house. The morning couldn't have been any more beautiful. a little steam seemed to be hovering a few feet up from the ground because of the heavy rains the day before. The park affords some slight views of the Ahwatukee foothills just due west. It is a park that has both an urban lake and a little preserve area on it's border (what it's for i'm not sure?).

Now, on any given weekend, other than this Saturday morning, if the weather is slightly warm, this particular park is a zoo. along with some nice playground equipment and some pretty mature trees, they also have a gosh darn train thingy that people pile onto for a goofy little trip around the park....i've done it. Riding the train made me want to wash myself with sanitary wipes as well as the compartment me and my daughter were sitting in....

But not this morning....the place was fairly empty. The birds were just going nuts and i can't get enough of that...grackles, mockingbirds, sparrows, some woodpeckers (not that i spotted any, but i've seen them there before), red winged black birds, and other little birds of which i can't name.

I still don't get this place. late October through early June (sometimes)the place can be just wonderful...like this morning, clean air (due to the rains), fresh breeze, rugged mountain views, birds going nuts, and i still wore shorts, a denim shirt, a ball cap, and a lightweight fleece vest!

When Spring time comes, i usually bounce off the walls...i don't know whether it's because i'm a spring baby or what, but i get "spring fever" real bad...reallly bad. My attention span sucks at work, i look for excuses to be outside, and the bird activity that is so good now doubles in spring....

the picture below is of the superstition mountains just 20 minutes northeast of me...spring time is magic up there...wildflowers, the hills have a green hue to them due to all the wild grass, weeds (some of which have very beautiful flowers), and all the other normal plants and shrubs that 'pop' during this time. it makes the sonoran landscape look 'not' like a desert.

i'm not sure why i'm even rambling on about the desert except this...this barren place that can be so severe in the summer (enough to make me crazy actually) can also be so amazingly beautiful. A hiker's paradise (for 6 months a year), a bird watcher's mecca, a cyclist's dream (lots and lots of cyclists here), and a walker's ideal stomping ground....

how does one deal with June through September though? ;)

Times, Seasons, and Singing

"there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die...
a time to plant and a time to uproot...
a time to tear down and a time to build...
a time to weep and a time to laugh...
a time to mourn and a time to dance...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain...
a time to search and a time to give up...
a time to keep and a time to throw away...
a time to tear and a time to mend...
a time to be silent and a time to speak..."
(excerpts from ecclesiastes 3)

to tell you the truth, i only know that it's time to sing....well, and to seek peace and 'pursue it.'

from the heart...indeed...

Earth Bucket

'this treasure we have in earthen vessels that the glory may be of God and not of men.' -paul

'mr. moody...mr. moody, are you filled with the Spirit?' ....why yes, but i leak...'
-story about d.l. moody

i was just schooled in a leonard cohen verse that says something like this: 'everything has a crack in it...that's how the light gets in.'

i say 'well put indeed.' what? like i'm gonna argue about leonard cohen's songwriting?....giggle....

i am thinking that the cracks are also how the light and the renewing water gets out too?....

i went to meeting tonight....the room smelled like a musty humidor...i was one of two guys there...the rest, well, ladies....

my observation? chunks of authenticity and wisdom were dropping all over the place...my notebook was my satchel...

Hoofin'

'in his heart a man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps.' -book of proverbs

i been babystepping all my life, sometimes wobbly, sometimes just right
i rest when i need and i'll stop some too....
but i'm making my babysteps right up to YOU. -lil' bobby dimlight

hard rains came...more on the way...still, i can wear shorts and sneakers and a vest when i do my neighborhood walk.
up by the park
around the northwest block
back down to the east block with the big loop
back across my street, south of my house
over to the west block...the last loop...

we gots a greenbelt/meadow thingy on the corner...great for kicking the soccer ball
with the kids or to sit on the pavers and just stare out into space...
tonight it was full of water and the Killdeers were on fire
"Kill deeeeahhh, Kill Deeeeaaaahh, Kill Deeeeahhh!!!!
lotsa life and action...evening action...who knows...rummaging for grubs...rummaging for mates???

whatever the reason...they fill my heart without even knowing it...

let us go laughing

'a merry heart does good like a medicine.' -book of proverbs

'this here song i wrote, is gonna be an object lesson on how to not take
yourself too seriously.' -a.t.b. AZ songwriter's challenge/2008

'may the holy hermit's staff...on and on it goes...lead you to
the shortest path....on and on for many a year...let us go laughing oh!'
-bruce cockburn

laughed so hard, i nearly cried today...several times...a hushed gut laugh because your boss' office is right across from yours....a laugh you tell your dad about, then begin talking about the 'synchronized swimming' skit on an old Saturday night live episode....a laugh that comes and fills and stills the ripples on this sea of life....mmmmm...good.

you are here......

i am here, you are here....hold me, show me, whisper
to me...
-a.t.b.


'only wear your clothes
i wear them too
i wear your shoes
and your jacket too
i always knew you
in your mothers arms
i have called you son...'


'rest in my arms
sleep in my bed
there is a design
to what i did and said'

-sufjan stevens/vito's ordination song

...SMiLe....

'each morning we wake and greet God with a big smile.' -momma t.

'smile, it's free...' -arthur gish

'smile, give your face something to do.' -t-shirt

'if a child smiles, if an adult smiles, that is very important. if in our daily lives we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it....you can practice smiling just standing there.' -thich nhat hanh

'the behavior we call 'acting as if' can be a powerful recovery tool. 'acting as if' is a way to practice the positive. it's a positive form of pretending. it's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. it's a tool we make a conscious decision to use.' -melody beattie

....stellar sleep (with some assistance)
....stellar walk (birds were hollerin')
....the love of my ma
....the love of my pa
....a dill slice with my sandwich
....good reading this morning

smile for practice...smile for gratitude....

Ma! Grandma!

crashing convergence....just reminded me again.

fell me apart, i'm tired of 'numbing.'

'sin of convenience' trying to gobble gobble

and through the city i hobble hobble.

they put the 'city' in the 'country' again and again...temptation to curse.

and even the hearts of many rural folk grow restless for the 'quick culture.'

grandma....1903....born....different perspective when you live through

a 'great depression.'

tho' she's been gone for over 20 years...

i don't forget her resourcefulness...not a thing wasted....ran vineyards, ran a store....

veggie sandwiches and when the chicken was done.....her bones were bleached and dry.

singing hymns, canning fruit, and sitting at the gosh darn screen door in her wheelchair

....i love you and am missing you real bad right now...

watching the blue jays, the mockingbirds, the wild finch, and the crows...she loved em' all!

her ol' pomegranate tree....juicy seeds all over my clothes...

neighbors chickens ticking me off....ha!

what on earth do we keep doing?

somebody learn me for God's sake....

my roses live cuz they're hardy, my rosemary lives because it's hardy...

my grapefruits just sit on the branch.

somebody learn me for God's sake!

Ma....Ma....give me your green thumb!

Lord Lord....give me mindfulness and help me to really

sow 'in the natural' as well as the 'spiritual.'

you put the stock in me....or it sure feels that way....

tears. tears.

Rambling #3 in the Series...'i gave out of my poverty'

this week's highlights...

-eating lots of canned peaches

-dinner with my father

-a couple of golden moments with my kids...

and this

she's lived in my neighborhood the 7+ years that i've lived here....she's always walking around town...i mean really 'walking' miles and stuff...she used to walk with a partner much taller than she is...the partner always wore the bandana...you know...no hair underneath...it turned out to be her sister who is a 2 time cancer survivor....

i just caught up with her yesterday....now she's got the bandana on...no hair underneath....crap.

i asked for permission to inquire about 'what was up.' and she kindly and gently shared that she is now going through treatment, that she's doing well, but that she's taken time off of work to focus on getting well...

i don't get it...this gal probably eats right, she walks like a maniac, etc.

anyway, for that 3 or 4 minutes in time i was able to put internal struggles aside, poor sleep aside, domestic obligations aside (as my kids were racing up to the front door...they often 'ring' the doorbell before i get up there...the dog loves it ;) and 'listen.' listening is a huge gift for me...i hope it is for her too. i'm not sure my responses offered anything...i hope so... 'i'm sorry, God bless you, what's your name again? i'll be praying for you...you look great...you look really well.'

maybe it was a 'two way street?' now that i think of it....she gave me something...hmmmm...i'll have to come back to that....fin.

Rambling #2 in the series "Love Matters"

'God is love....' -john

'love is patient, love is kind. it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast,
it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
love never fails...' -paul

the artist Raffi is a big child advocate..."child honouring" is his deal...it is a movement that involves both a covenant and a philosophy to turn this cracked ball, we call home around...have i read up on it...can i say 'this is the answer!' not so much, but i dig Raffi and i think he's a compassionate man...

and...i believe in love...agape "God" sort of love...oh my experiences have been 'glimpses'...my dispersion of it has been in 'slivers,' but i think it grows...some places it's even poppin.' when buttressed up against paul's quote from 1st Corinthians...i am reminded of Mike Yaconelli's phrase...God's 'sticky annoying love'

if what i feel and experience regarding my children is somehow a shadow...a type...a brief glimpse into this thing called "love." then this Folkster says, 'heap it on' and let me receive it because it's the only thing that's gonna satisfy my heart...and it's the only thing worth giving away....or something....fin.

rambling #1 in the series 'why we do...'

"what if no one ever told me that they loved me again, but God...what if no one ever paid my art another compliment...would that be enough?...my heart says yes, but my ego says no." -a dear friend (my paraphrase)

"the life unexamined ain't worth living friends..." -Jon (my paraphrase)

'sometimes' copyright 2010 by todd b.

sometimes i sing cuz i'm happy
sometimes i sing cuz i'm sad
sometime i sing cuz i don't give a crap
and sometimes i sing when i'm mad
i often sing to give thanks
and i sing to keep it 'straight'
if i don't let myself sing
it'd be like a dam about to break.......

the only reason i'm copyrighting this silly little blurb above is because there may be a 'song' there....ha ha.

this is a rant on why 'we do what we do.' all kinda motives flopping around for me. do i think You Tube and the Blogosphere and facebook and all sorts of other networking/file sharing/exposure sites are good? you bet. can someone get addicted to 'artistic expression' or 'musical expression' or just 'airing' their own opinions and such...'yup.' have i really given myself the 'examen' regarding all of this (old catholic term)..lately..not so much......

here's the deal for me...i've been bashing away at music and scribbling pictures and writing/journaling/messing with words for as long as i can remember...my training...minimal...my bent...amatuerism...my unction...(when i have reflected on it) seems to be from way down deep within...when i act like 'i' am the gift...very bad (and laughable i suppose)...when i acknowledge that anything good that comes out of 'creating' is perhaps a gift given to me...to share...much better...much 'much' better....okay, 'gee todd, thanks for reminding me....no problem, todd...listen deep and keep asking for help...'

fin

Kent, Big Rain, and Being Human

WE got hammered with rain last night....i don't see myself as a 'desert dweller' (At least not the sort of desert that bakes like this place does in the summer :) for life...in fact, the unction to 'pull up roots' is pretty strong...

MY point was gonna be though...it's a gosh darn beautiful place when the rains (not flash floods) come...thunder, lightning, rain, creation taking a big drink, the place goes electric.

My friend Kent shared some verses with me today by the band 'Over the Rhine.' Kent loves their music....heck, Kent loves good music...always sharing lyrics and relating them to life...good guy...you see, Kent has come through from the 'other side' in a sense....he knows what it's like to have your paradigms blown up....he knows what it's like to be honest...he knows God and i have benefited from his sharing very much...thank you Kent. This excerpt smacked me between the eyes this morning.

'sitting in the rain alone
looking at a place that’s gone
boarded up my memories
but something’s drawn me here again and i
i cannot leave the past alone
hoped that i would never find
all the shit i left behind
now i find the child in me is going to remind me that i
i can’t forget my past for long'

What if?

'don't forsake the work of your hands...' -moses

'my soul thirsts for you...my body longs for you in a dry
and weary land where there is no water' -david

'come to me all you who are weary and burdened and i will give you rest...'
'i am gentle and humble of heart...'
'you will find rest for your souls...'
'learn from me...'
'my yoke is easy and my burden is light' -Jesus

what if?...
- i feel alone?
- i never see my hopes and dreams come to fruition?
- i can pretend no more?
- my way seems unclear?
- my heart gets broken?
- peace evades me?
- i don't have a friend in the world?

...two rugged beams of wood...it always goes back to those two rugged beams of wood...
terror swallowed up by tenderness
crooked and perverse meet the Balm above all other balms
striving is pinned down by downward mobility
guile is swallowed up by gentleness and meekness
scars have holy oil poured on them
death gets swallowed up by life....
might, determination, and will meet a Foolish Power and bow down...

what if?

Dandle me and let me be Drunk

GOD, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in! -mr. david

...i can't take it all in, but i open wide my mouth...the ears of my heart and soul are ready to listen....then get drunk on this here 'stuff' stuff....pure...undiluted...unprocessed...right from the source... -mr. me

"If you'll hold on to me for dear life," says GOD,
"I'll get you out of any trouble.
I'll give you the best of care
if you'll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I'll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I'll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I'll give you a long life,
give you a long drink of salvation!" -songster

....look at these big meat hook hands...wide...full of palm pressure...holding on...
heart ready to be dandled...ready to listen and know....ready to party on Provision...ready to drink up and live...

FREE MUSIC and CONTEST

here's a 'talking head' video for the free music and contest

download 'THE SUBURBAN FOOL" E.P. HERE



spreading peace and goodwill however i can!!! ;)

Mr. Tiny Tim Part 2.

okay, here's the deal, after becoming a ukulelist in late 2005, i couldn't avoid getting acquainted with most people's (well, most middle aged folks) association with Tiny Tim and the uke. Actually, who the hell can?

over and over, you share your enthusiasm for this unique instrument and some dip wad has to start trying to sing the falsetto version of "tip toe through the tulips" with that same ol' boring and sarcastic attitude.

can you feel the love here yet?

Anyway, i posted on another blog an article entitled, "To Tiny or not to Tiny?...that is the question" and the responses were pretty mixed, but some uke players sounded like they were almost angry at the guy because he wasn't that good of a player and he was different/quirky....which chalked off as him being a big joke...

Well, here's my conclusion after talking to a couple of different people, downloading some of Tiny's songs, and surfing you tube for interviews, etc.

...Tiny was all right man...he was all right...

maybe not for everyone, but here are some positive things that i've come away with...

1.) Tiny was a pop music archivist/musicologist for sure: from his early passion of pouring over old 78 albums to his later years of discussing the classic crooners with interviewers...this dude knew his stuff....his repertoire of songs (especially from 1850 to 1950) one source says, could've reached into the "tens or possibly hundreds of thousands."

2.) Tiny was known for being kind-hearted: if you read or listen to the interviews, Tiny often gave "props" in a big way to folks who influenced him. He came across as being very thankful for whatever opportunities were presented to him...and I am told he often gave huge tips to people who helped him even when he could barely make his own rent....Actually, I was told that he was 'kind to a default.' Pretty cool i think for someone who suffered abuse in his younger years.

3.) Tiny didn't let his poor uke skills stop him: from what i can gather, Tiny's uke skills were pretty choppy at best....i don't know why after playing for 40 or 50 years he didn't get much better, but he had this kinda 'chunka, chunka, chunka' style. this didn't stop him though...if you listen a little, you find that the dude had a pretty impressive vocal range and his tone was pretty darn good, especially when singing in the lower registers....

4.) Tiny was an outsider for sure: God bless him...'God bless the freaks.' You see, the way i look at it, there needs to be a place for 'outsiders.' The world of music is no exception. My biggest Hero is an 'outsider-magnet'...the least, the lost, the disenfranchised, and probably nerds, misfits, and the socially retarded (forgive the uncouth term, but it seems to work the best). let me digress with a funny story.....after hearing my friend Russ do a uke version of "Rocky Mountain High" on You tube, i asked a co-worker, who is in his mid-fifties, if he ever got into John Denver (this seemed to be about the right age i thought). His reply was, 'uh...you kinda had to be a nerd to be into John Denver'.... so, i'll be researching his tunes shortly. Anyway, it's public knowledge that Tiny suffered abuse as a youngster and this could've played into his quirky persona....so, God bless Tiny Tim!

enough...what songs have i enjoyed and what songs would i recommend....some of the ones i donwloaded were O.K., but these ones i've really enjoyed....

'tip toe through the tulips' he's the one who did it 'his way.' it's all right with me

'strawberry tea' kind of a vaudeville meets psychadelia tune....i like it...

'then i'd be satisfied with life' this is BY FAR my favorite...it's a country tune and he kills it!

'aren't you glad you're you' recorded for his kid's album....

'i'm a lonesome little raindrop' i like the words and chords....

so, there you have it...my take on Tiny Tim :)....he was all right in my book...

hugs and well wishes :)

kinda 'wrestle-y'

note: videos are both good for watching and meditative listening....










"You hem me in- behind and before; you've laid
your hand upon me....if i go up to the heavens, you are there;
if i make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the
wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will
hold me fast." -David, son of Jesse

...it helps to remember this, but are You wrestling me around?.... :)

that's it...Free Coming!

this one'll be 'if-y' but it may complete the free e.p.



but read the notation here... if i sound to preachy

o.k. talked a little with Jack Norton and Joel Eckhaus....plus i have downloaded more of Tiny Tim's music...so that WILL BE COMING up :)

baby

baby,

you don't get it....
i'm not sure i do either....
everything changed when you, baby, came.

one full of fire, the other so tender

daddy's girl got im' all wrapped up
cried when he held the little baby bun for the first time...
holding you while doin' housework late at night
falling asleep on my shoulder EVERY night
my goodness, four and half years already passed
now 'little miss thang.' still the fire, but i see the compassion
too.

daddy's boy, not a little buddy, but a little soul friend...
like the time we were on vacation and daddy 'play cried' cuz you
wanted to sleep with mommy....his 'play cryin' nearly got u
cryin' you stepped up....my soul friend
got daddy's humor, got daddy's music in your soul
let it out son...

mystic moments when you ask questions or when you
prophesy without even knowin' it
mystic moments when you sit still in my arms...

baby, to quote somebody else....
'listen, listen, listen to my heartsong...'

baby, you don't get it
i'm not sure i do either....
i'll love you forever...

oh My GoOdnEss!

This weekend is an anniversary celebration for fiddler's dream, the club where i played last night.....

To hold with tradition, i got to the venue early as i like to 'dial down' a bit before i play...the doors were to open at 6:30pm...i was there just after. I wasn't scheduled to go on until 8:30. the sets were supposed to run in half hour slots, so i picked 8 songs to give time for interaction/engaging the people.

this venue is held on the campus of a Quaker Church. i love a lot of things that i've learned from some quaker friends of mine and the way it works usually is....the folkies meet at a smaller 'fellowship' building for the gigs and the sanctuary sits right down the way from it. Well, i noticed a gathering of people in the sanctuary and thought, 'lovely, i'll go sit with the Quakers in silence for at least a half an hour or so before my gig....i was starting to feel 'spiritual' ha ha. Anyway, it turns out that the sanctuary was the gig site.....no 'sitting in the silence' waiting on the "Divine Presence." i did get to read some douglas v. steere though....i've got to get some of his writings me thinks....

first up: the dusty buskers they were unshaven, un-showered, and excellent!!! they did songs that i usually keep on my ipod, they smiled, they were sweaty, and got their folk on!!!

second: sule greg wilson kind-hearted, comedic, full of energy and engagement, percussive, and he let me play his banjo and banjo ukulele (i now want a gold tone deluxe banjolele)

thirdly: little ol' me....i was starting to feel like i was going to be the beer and 2 benadryl tablets after these guys....one man, a baritone uke, a soprano uke, vocals, and a smattering of kazoo. but lo and behold!, i was very very very very wrong (do you get my drift?). i prefaced my set with my history....a young kid who used to listen to punk rock, who now forages around for old time music, field recordings, and who is in love with early Burl Ives music...???!!! the crowd came to a hush...you could hear a pin drop...and so my set went:

(these are all on my YT page btw)
-the fox (baritone uke)
-the wagoner's lad (baritone uke)
-Sue Cow (baritone uke)
-Broke down engine (soprano uke)
-ain't she sweet/5 foot 2 medley (soprano uke)
-brief recognition on tiny tim and then...tip toe through the tulips (soprano uke)
-dry bones (baritone uke with dropped first string)

smiling people from 20 somethings to 70 somethings, cds sold, some super-encouragement from my buddy Paul....who i also got to hang out with a bit...good guy, positive heart...

what can i say, but...'thank you?' now....of course the drive home is a little quiet and pensive and you often feel like you'd like to sit with a small group of friends after...sipping tea and talking quietly....but such is the life of a working class folky who SINGS HIS GUTS OUT!

so again...'thanksgiving above all.'

tension, balance, and rattling

early morning shopping at wally world

taking care of kiddies

feeding kiddies

domestic engineering (in this case...laundry)

rehearsal for a gig i forgot i had

running copies of cds in hopes of making the sale (i'm being transparent here)

nursing a doctor wound and getting a steroid shot in my neck for a surly ingrown hair (we're all friends right?)

and now?......a gosh darn nap...

pray for/think of/well wish....me and i'll do the same for you :)

One of my most favorite songs ever...!!!

i just love elizabeth cotten and pete seeger....enjoy!

THIN PLACES -song #2

Note to Friends,

O.K. one more song/video after this one and i'm gonna throw these up for free download....sound good?

...there's a fourth tune that seems to be bouncing around, but we'll see...i'm not gonna force it....

it cometh, so i posteth

it came today....the strings are barely tuned, the mod podge and wood glue are barely dry, and so i POST!!!

it was a pretty tight little uke...wood glue was only for two very very small spots....

it's the simple things in life people....


hugs,

p.s. i couldn't bring myself to put the 'elvis with the golden tuxedo' stickers on it :)

what will we folksters sow?

-today i may have sown some humor and it may have produced some giggles

-today i also sowed a little thoughtfulness and i reaped acknowledgement

-tonight i will sow some fellowship/communion and pray to receive love and warmth

-at the end of this evening i will try and sow 'calibration' and reap some balance

-tomorrow i hope to sow encouragement and reap the conviction that i'm doin' what i'm
supposed to be doin'

*art work by yours truly....a.t.b. 2008

Brother Ass!

Brother Ass, my body, you don't want to start today do you?

i still love you. i will gently prompt you to move and things will get smoother, better, and more fluid.

Brother Ass, my body, you're not hungry....you're not sensual...you're not very willing. trust me as we move, things will get smoother, better, and more fluid.

Brother Ass, my body, there's folks that could use your help...see now, the phone rings!

Daily life and this foolish creativity stuff.........

'why should we all use our creative power...? Because there is nothing that makes people so generous, joyful, lively, bold and compassionate, so indifferent to fighting and the accumulation of objects and money.' -brenda ueland

i'm a domestic engineer. i believe in both parents trying to take care of their kids (if they've got them). i know it's hard for many families to be solely a 'one income' family. when somebody shares with me about being busy or feeling fractured or un-centered or frittered and i say 'i understand'....i really feel like i understand...at least in part. ('you gonna have to walk that lonesome valley...you gonna walk it by yourself'...the chorus to that old carter family song just shot through my brain right now)

i believe in trying to sow kindness, trying to be compassionate, and i believe in trying to remember that i am not God....(in other words, the world doesn't revolve around me and my ego)

at the same time, i believe that things like creativity, a little child-like foolishness and humor, the nurturing of art, music, and writing (in its many various forms) are good things...necessary things...things that should be cultivated in our communities and homes....

with all the other 'outside' pressures and demands that seem to come my way, what has helped nurture me? what has helped me create time and space for playing an instrument, writing a letter, making a thoughtful phone call, drawing cartoons, or even this here blogging????

well, i'll share a few resources (books on this post) that have spurred me on to the continuance of the creative pursuit while still being a worker, family man, tax payer, recovering legalist, etc.

Ignore Everybody and 39 other keys to creativity by hugh mcleod
i found hugh's realism and slightly jaded view to be a bit refreshing. *note this book does have lots of 'potty mouthed' excerpts and some art that's a bit uncouth (mostly the quotations)
i don't think anybody that i've read deals with 'the tension' between the creative person's responsibilities and creative impulses quite as well as hugh does.

God, help me to create by Claire W. As a 12 step participant/author, Claire writes with grace, gentleness, and pragmatism...this is a helpful little book

The Art of the Start by Guy Kawasaki Guy was the Mac 'evangelist' and there are just a lot of nuggets that easily translate to either entrepreneurial or creative pursuits...

Holy Silence by J. Brent Bill i'm glad to say that J. Brent is a face book friend of mine, he's got good taste in music, and somehow this book helps me to remember that 'holding the quiet' and 'holding fast to that which leads us upward to God' can be the impetus for art, music, and writing...hmmmm i could use some more of that myself....

The Lessons of St. Francis by John Michael Talbot earthy....simple...foolish...his chapters on simplicity and creativity are great....

rooter.

misty winds entrance me.

foggy air and weeping green trees make me heavy...

with joy -

the hills with their scrub oaks daydream me...

and i dream too much....

the self actualization chart says so at least..pffft!!...

future tripping tries to scare me

i like my grey hair...

i once had a dream when i was all of 21-ish

in the corner of a rural room i sat by the soft sunlit window,

head bowed, done up in soft cotton clothes....?

the room was empty and that was all right....

it felt homey.

a rootless rover isn't my style....or has it been ?...

so Christ, please abide me, home me, root me, however, whenever, wherever.....

A taste of e.p. ah, the ol' hometown....

here's a demo of one of the tracks from an e.p. i'm working on...i'm gonna make it a free download, so there'll be more info coming...

it'll even be thematic!

"JEWEL OF THE EMPIRE" (inland empire that is :)

2010 and all that......for now.....

Well, here we are....2010. i mean pffft! don't you remember 2000...y2k and all that?...i was 28 in 2000 and i remember then how quick i thought time was going by...
meh...what's another decade? :)

Anyway, as i said, it is like me to wait until new year's eve to think of any resolutions or goals i'd like to set. 'One day at a time' is a little saying that i like very much.

to start off, i'd like to thank and bless everyone who has popped by this blog, my you tube page, my website and my face book page...this whole creative journey has 'networking and making friends' as a major component to it...at least in my way of thinking. some of the greatest pleasures i've had over the last little while involves visiting with folks like you, checking out what you're up to, giving and sharing encouragement, etc.

oh back to new year's hopes, goals, and all that...

honestly? so far, i'm feeling like i'm not that deep of a person...oh well...

More Music God Willing: since last spring i've posted 176 videos on my you tube page!!! just give me a flip camera and off i run!!! I just wanna keep playing music, archiving songs i dig, and writing as the unction comes...

Do at least 1 (preferably 2) personal retreat(s) this year: there's this Franciscan retreat center up the road from me in a beautiful part of Scottsdale that is just so conducive to journaling, emptying out, and seeking God. i could use some of that...

Eat more Hippy Food: Wha? hmmm? As a father of young-uns, it's easy to get used to frozen pizza, mac and cheese, and hot dogs. I don't have anything against any of those foods, but the truth is, i like my hippy food...beans and rice with spices, hummus, lotsa salad (we've been doing really good in that area), granola and yogurt, lentil soup, and more tea consumption...

Lose 15 pounds: flat out...i'd be happy with 10, but even happier with 15...gotta get more walking and dancing in :)

Draw More: I've been getting more active again in this area...I once contemplated going art school as a young man...not sure why i didn't anymore?...fear, maybe getting caught up in life...etc. i've got some cartoons and stuff that i'm gonna scan and put up here...this luddite will learn the ropes!

that's all my brain can handle at present....lotsa love and hugs to you my friends!!!