Seeds of Awareness

'give over thine own willing
give over thine own running
give over thine own desiring
to know or be anything, and
sink down to the seed which God
sows in thy heart
and let that be in thee,
and breathe in thee,
and grow in thee,
and act in thee,
and thou shalt find by sweet experience
that the Lord knows that and loves and owns
that, and will lead it to the inheritance of life
which is God's portion.'
-isaac pennington 1681

KALA and MAKALA Ukes

I guess i have become an spokesperson for Kala and Makala (Kala's super-affordable Line) Ukes. Especially since i have two 'makala' plastic bodied dolphin/soprano ukes that i'm crazy about (stay tuned for another version of Springtime with the other soprano). In all honesty, i think they're doing a reallll good work for people that want to get into the ukulele, but don't either have or want to spend a lot of money.
ummmm that would be me. ;)

Half-Circle of Sanity

i'll take a moment from my day of doin' not too much
to remember the surrounding sanity of a saturday night
under the fluorescent light
one child to the left of me
one child to the right of me
single dad in between
a man
a boy
a big kid
no friggin' bickering, no banter, no upheaval, and no big deal.
just a half-circle surroundin'
a half-circle of sanity above my head
not knowin' too much
not thinkin' too much
compassed 'round 'bout by senior citizens
God bless them, God bless my nice waitress who's got a five year old and she's in her early twenties at most....
daughter, please don't shove too much in your mouth
son, i'll help you with your pie crust
sanity, thank you for showing up....please stay, grow, and infiltrate as i try to be honest and as i learn how to walk the work and work the walk...
right then...let's finish this pie and get to walkin' home.

My Friend John

I started John Punshon's book, "Encounter with Silence" a year or two ago and at the time i read some, then put it down....i'm glad i've recently picked it back up...

'we should start at the beginning, with ourselves, for the first stage in all creative worship is to realise that in coming to God we do not deny ourselves, we reach our fulfillment. it is our coming into the light.

on the surface this might appear to contradict the teaching of Jesus that we can only be his disciples through self-denial, but it is not really so. God says to us through Jeremiah, "before i formed you in the womb I knew you." We are not clones, the byproducts of an experiment or a process designed to do something else. We are here, each one of us, by divine grace and intention, and it is divine love that brought us into being. John writes in his first letter, "We love him because he first loved us." So to worship, it is essential for us to come to the knowledge that we are each very dear to God.'

there is no other starting point. we need this absolute security before we can practice the sort of self-denial Jesus was talking about. self-denigration is sterile to the individual and an insult to God. but as we give ourselves willingly to God, in love, God's own self-sacrificing love floods in and we become children of the light.....worship is being touched and loved by God, coming into a relationship that is sometimes pretty stormy and is never dull.'

-John Punshon/Encounter with Silence

The Best Drama

i have two collections of quaker writings (mostly paragraphes and quotes), compiled by a lady named Catherine Whitmire. The quote below i found in her book, "Plain Living/A Quaker Path to Simplicity." Funny that i should re-stumble upon it before the Silence.

'it is the drama of the Hound of Heaven
baying relentlessly upon our track.
it is the drama of the lost sheep
wandering in the wilderness,
restless and lonely, feebly searching,
while over the hills comes the wiser Shepherd.
For God has a Shepherd's heart,
and is restless until all the sheep are safe.
It is the drama of the Eternal God
drawing the podigal home,
where there is bread enough and to spare.
It is the drama of the Double-Search...
And always its chief actor is-
the Eternal God of Love.'
-Thomas R. Kelly 1939

Come Here

come near to me
i'll be here
please, come near to me
i'm the one that's near

don't be afraid
i'll be waiting here
don't run away
see, i'm so near.

i've whispered and i've spoken tenderly
i've listened and listened and listened
i've even stood at the door and knocked..
knocked...knocked...

hello, can i come in?
or rather, you come in...come in right here...
sit down, take your shoes off...
make yourself at home...

here.
in my Heart.

Slow, Slow, Slow

Weather has been amazing yesterday and today....my sliding glass door is open and i can hear the rhythmic chirping of what sounds to be a baby bird. Likey.

domestic engineering is going slow. usually i'm an animal when it comes to this stuff...this weekend, not so much.

i seem to be in very "Low Gear" but here's the deal...

new dorfman pacific sun hat for 8 bucks...yes!

mistico copal (sacred heart of Jesus) incense...very nice!

very unique postcards from changing hands bookstore...score!

john punshon's book on silent quaker worship, 'encounter with silence' is...food for thought!

back to Target to return my uniball pens because I WANT BLACK INK! a quiet grrrrr!

off to office max later to run copies of the cd cover...I'm Steady!

about 2 months of stellar weather left before the heat and i'm fixated on getting some summer scarfs...that's right...oh bandannas around the neck will do, but i'm thinking soft - lightweight cotton neck scarfs might be better....

OR IS THAT SCARVES???? :)

Pray for the Son of a......

'i'm supposed to love people?...i may have signed up for the wrong club.'
-me

when a person in the 12 step program was struggling with forgiving somebody that had really hurt them, their sponsor tenderly said, 'just pray for the son of a bitch.'
-the spirituality of imperfection (paraphrased)

'But i tell you: Love your enenmies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous.'
-Jesus

i guess i'm learning that it's more beneficial to not be dishonest when somebody annoys me or does me wrong. to not be dishonest, but to not stop praying either. i can be so forgetful in the area of trying to exchange good for evil. one of my other shortcomings is this crazy ability to analyze and usually get a pretty good grasp on what a person's 'issues' are. part of it could come from my past training and experience in working with people, but here's the deal. it's not my friggin' job! i can do better to take care of my own mess and work on me....there's plenty to do there. plus, i get to reap the serenity of keeping close to my higher power and letting him work with me...or on me rather :) this all stems from an incident at work....the proverbial 'thorn in the side' co-worker who just seems to 'stay the same' with their tactics and weasling. Oh well, God bless them, give them a good life, and touch them more and more with your Love and all that that implies...and in it all, 'thy kingdom come thy will be done.' hey, maybe now i'm free to let him 'do' as he desires...maybe now i'm free to fry bigger fish? or something?

Blah, Blah, Blee, Blah, Blah

'and suddenly it occured to him....he could no longer speak just because he liked to hear himself talk.'

'let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.'
-james

...today, i will pray that my speech is seasoned with grace....

the laboratory

'that meant that what i learned was earthed in reality and was not the attitudinizing of a cloistered virtue that had never been in any moral danger.'
-john punshon (Quaker, author of "Encountering the Silence")

i like this quote. i don't speak like this...heck, i don't even try to write like this, but what i'm getting from john's quote is that the particular life lessons he was absorbing had a 'practical application' to them. they had been tested in the heat, sweat, and thickets of life, but in the context of which he speaks, they were being revealed in the Silence. That 'sifting silence.' That place where hungry souls down-shift and 'lay it all down' before God.

They hold this stuff 'in the Light' and wait.

and with the way my life is going right now, i could use a little of that myself.

exhale.

Easter Weekend....and stuff....

it's Easter weekend and i've got my kids for a couple of days. the park was beautiful today and the birds sounded lovely. cheeseburgers afterwards were good...strangely, i've got a growing affection for big macs...yikes!
it is 'spring in full swing.' my spring fever has been at 'mid-level' this year and today i am feeling a little sad...not depressed, just a little sad.

so, i'm going to recount some stuff regarding Jesus that i've picked up over time that seems to be bouncing around in my head...today. happy happy everyone.

'me and Jesus, we gotta good thing going.' -jon

'you're the most gentle and persistent person i know.' -me (regarding Jesus)

'let the little children come to me and don't hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.' -jesus

'i thank you father, lord of heaven and earth, for you have hidden these things from the wise and learned and revealed them to little children. yes father, for this was your good pleasure.' -jesus

'then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in every one.' -george fox

'the easter story is not only about what happened to someone else; it's about what's happening to us - or can happen. it's about the experience of being lifted up and made new, when we ourselves didn't have the power to do it.' -days of healing days of joy (recovery literature for adult children)